Living Life On My Own Trampoline

It wasn't always a trampoline.
​It used to be the bottom of a cliff.

Something would happen, and my reaction was to jump off a proverbial cliff, crash hard, stay there a while, and then - usually with the help of drugs, alcohol, or both - I'd slowly put myself back together.

It hurt. And I kept doing it.

I met a lot of people down there, at the bottom of the cliff... we'd wallow around, complain about our injuries, pass the bottle, and dust ourselves off for another climb up.

And we'd post our travails on social media and count the likes, feeling 'less than' if we didn't get 'enough.'

It wasn't long before we'd meet again at the bottom of the cliff, old bruises and cuts healing, new ones forming. Over and over.

It was comfortable in its familiarity. But it was no way to live. 

The thing is, shit happens. And I've learned that it's important to face it, accept that it happened (because I can't change it), and choose my reaction.

By facing and accepting, I'm able to slow down, notice my emotions, and feel my feelings. To be human is to feel, and squashing down my feelings only means they will eat away at me internally (via ulcers, back spasms, skin breakouts, etc.)

When I choose my reaction, it's a lot easier than being at the mercy of whatever happened. I always have a choice - even if it doesn't seem that way.

So instead of leaping off of cliffs and crashing hard, I choose to bounce.

On a virtual trampoline.

I still fall down. But I now know that I don't have to remain down, ruminating and mentally abusing myself. Instead I'm able to bounce back up.

Now, when I bounce, I bounce close to the trees - holding onto branches and hanging out there a little while, taking in the view, checking out what is possible.

Life is a lot clearer from a higher vantage point.

I think I'll build a treehouse. 


©Catherine Borowski, 2018
www.celebratingwealth.com
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